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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE NUMBERS:
816.461.HOPE (816.461.4673)
816.HOTLINE (816.468.5463)
What is abuse?
Domestic violence isn't just hitting, or fighting, or an occasional mean argument. It's a chronic abuse of power. The abuser tortures and controls the victim by calculated threats, intimidation and physical violence. The physical violence is often the end result of months or years of intimidation and control.
Who batters and why?
People who batter have a need to gain power and control in their relationships. Abusive personalities have common characteristics:
- Low self esteem
- Insecurity
- Emotionally dependent
- Excessive jealousy
- Manipulative
- Alternately charming then suddenly angry and violent
Probably the greatest risk factor for being in an abusive relationship is being somehow vulnerable. Identifying this and participating in good self-care can lower the risk of involvement in an abusive relationship.
Examples of abuse include:
- name-calling or putdowns
- keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends
- withholding money
- sabotaging attendance at job or school
- stalking
- intimidation
- punched walls, slammed doors, destruction of personal property
- lying
- using children to manipulate a parent's emotions
- use of fear and shame
- forced sexual contact
- manipulation
- sexist comments
- yelling and rages
- jealousy and possessiveness
- silent treatment
- rape
- unwanted touching
- shoving, strangling, ripping, slapping, biting, kicking, bruises, punching, scrapes, pinching
- brainwashing
- violence to pets
- ridicule or public humiliation
- broken promises
- prevention of seeking medical and dental care
- threats: to harm family and friends; to take away the children; to harm animals; of being kicked out; of weapons; of being killed
If you find yourself in a violent relationship, please call the Hope House hotline at 816.461.HOPE (4673) for help (a local call for the Kansas City metro area). If feel the need to do more research before making that call, we recommend the following websites for more in-depth information about recognizing domestic violence, creating a safety plan, protecting your identity and getting help:
Missouri Coalition Against Domestic & Sexual Violence
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
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