If your abuser enters the room, click the red Escape tab to be taken to a safe website. Take safety precautions.
If your abuser enters the room, click the red Escape tab to be taken to a safe website. Take safety precautions.
All this week, the National Domestic Violence Hotline has been posting “50 Obstacles to Leaving” in bites of 10 a day. I thought it would be helpful to combine all 50 and repost them here as a reminder of what those living with domestic violence are dealing with and why you should never blame the victim.
As a domestic violence prosecutor, I’m pleased to help assault victims and am encouraged when victims tell me I've impacted their lives in a positive way.
There has been so much tragedy in the news lately. It’s sometimes hard to manage all of the emotions that rise up when we hear of the tragedy others have faced. As a country we experienced the Boston bombings, even though I wasn’t there I felt it in my heart. We have learned of the miraculous and heartwarming escape of the three young women who were kidnapped over 10 years ago. What a wonderful day that was when their neighbor came to their rescue. Now they are home with their families and enjoying well deserved privacy as they recover from the trauma of their experiences. We just learned of the tragedy in Oklahoma when that tornado ripped through their town and took so many lives. I have lived in the Midwest my entire life, so tornados are not new to me, but even after the recent two year anniversary of Joplin, I don’t think anyone is ever prepared for tornados of that magnitude and destructive power. The loss of children is so heartbreaking as a parent I can’t wrap my heart around the pain those parents are experiencing. All I can do is send them my prayers and hope they are able to find some comfort somewhere.
Memorial Day will be here Monday and I want to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to all those who have given the ultimate sacrifice and to their families who have sacrificed for our freedom. Memorial Day is a time to remember those who have died while serving their country. It is often marked as the beginning of summer but it is so much more than that.
School will be out soon if it isn’t already for some kids. We love summertime at Hope House. It is so fun to watch the kids enjoy the summer days. They are able to relax and enjoy their vacation from school and spend their days exploring, playing and just being kids.
One of our main goals for the children staying at Hope House is to let the kids experience being kids. They have been through so much trauma and they deserve a chance to be free of adult burdens and worry, they deserve to have fun and to have the opportunity to be a child.


In May 2011, I took over as the Blue Springs Police Domestic Violence Detective. Since given this great opportunity I’ve dedicated my efforts to do anything in my power to end the cycle of domestic violence in Blue Springs.
My passion to help survivors of domestic violence didn’t start when I took over as the Blue Springs Police Domestic Violence Detective, but my position helped me realize the power that I had to save lives through my investigations and interactions with survivors. I found that my past experience as a patrol officer—being involved in a shooting while responding to a domestic assault—and my quest for justice was very similar to the survivors of domestic violence with whom I work. That connection, even though different, allowed me to see through the eyes of a survivor seeking justice.
April 21-27, 2013 is National Volunteer Appreciation Week. The theme of this year’s event is “Celebrate Service”.
April 21st-27th is National Crime Victims’ Rights Week. Started in 1981, National Crime Victims’ Rights Week (NCVRW) has brought much needed attention to the victims of crime, their families and the professionals who serve them. 
I am so excited about our upcoming event. It's our second annual Margarita Ball! It will be held on Friday, April 26th from 8pm-midnight at Dan Meiners Studio which is located at 2500 W. Pennway in Kansas City, Missouri.
The event was a huge success last year and we look forward to even more people this year. We'll have two bands - The Zeros and X-Parte - providing lively music to dance the night away. There will be plenty of delicious food and lots of free margaritas.
Since my blog post about Police Officer Jennifer Sebena, I received a letter from the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund letting me know that the board voted unanimously to include Officer Sebena’s name on the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial.
There has been a lot in the media lately about victim responsibility and the culture of violence in our community. I, like many others, was horrified by the images seen on TV of a young woman unconscious and being dragged around by classmates who were laughing and enjoying themselves at her expense. What was even more horrifying to me was that that image was only the tip of the iceberg as to what happened to that young woman that evening. Two high school boys, both football stars in their town, were convicted of raping her that evening.
I was completely disheartened when I read about slain Police Officer Jennifer Sebena. Jennifer husband Benjamin Sebena is accused of shooting her to death and the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund has denied putting Officer Sebena’s name on their memorial wall. For those of you who are not familiar with The National Law Enforcement Memorial Fund they are an organization that is set up to honor police officers who are killed in the line of duty.
Here is an article from the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:
The National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund will meet April 3 to once again consider adding slain Wauwatosa police officer Jennifer Sebena to its memorial wall, according to the Wisconsin Professional Police Association.
The memorial fund first said it would not include Sebena, apparently because she was killed in a domestic violence incident. Last week, it announced it would delay the decision until next year.

I'm so very excited that, once again, Nick Swearngin is hosting his Head Shave for Hope House event! Nick is a very caring and compassionate individual who created this event and continues to grow it every year.
Initially, Nick started by growing his beard and mustache for several months and then having a gathering where the highest bidder was able to shave it all off and he went bald to raise awareness for Hope House. What an event this has become! These days Nick has taken to dying his hair before the event and wears a t-shirt saying "I did this for Hope House". He raises over $10,000 at this event and each year he gets more and more people involved to share the story of Hope House and the services that we provide. Last year he had 15 people step up to have their head shaved! It is amazing the number of people each year who step forward and are willing to share of themselves in this way.
This weather has been something hasn’t it! I look out my window and all I see are white mountains, many of them throughout the parking lot and street. Some are difficult to see over the top so much snow has been piled on them.
This weather can be very challenging to everyone; it is taxing on the nerves, the emotions and schedules. It can be especially difficult for people in crisis as their whole lives are turned upside down and then they have to deal with the appointment cancellations, maneuvering the streets and cancelled work which often means a reduced paycheck which then starts the crisis spiral all over again.
I had the extreme pleasure of meeting a very courageous, warm and inviting woman. Joyce Layman Blackburn introduced me to Marti Hill so I could hear her story and offer resources for their joint project the Living Proof website.
Marti is an amazing woman. She has survived so much and has become a pioneer and advocate for those who are experiencing trauma, pain and loss. Marti’s story is not one of domestic violence, but she has so much to say that can impact those who are experiencing domestic violence. Her desire is to help everyone and she realized that she couldn’t do it alone, so she set about gathering people around her who could help. She had a dream to use her trauma and victimization and turn it into something positive that would help inspire others and promote healing.
We’re putting the final touches on our annual report for Fiscal Year 2012. It can be so rewarding to look back at the year and all of the great things we were able to accomplish in a twelve month period.
In terms of numbers, we continue to see the need for services grow. We experienced greater lengths of stay in shelter and provided more bednights than the previous year. Resources in the community continue to be stretched which, in turn, makes referrals more difficult. Case managers are finding the need to be more creative in how they help their clients reach their goals. We saw continued growth in our outreach services, both in the numbers served and those waiting for available services.
It's already February! Hard to believe how fast time has gone. February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. It is so crucial to bring continued awareness to the issue of teen dating violence. If we don't address it when people are young, we will never fully break the continued cycle.
Shockingly, 1 in 3 teens will experience violence in their dating relationship. Estimates are that nearly 1.5 million high schools students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner! What's even more shocking is that 2/3 of them will not reveal the abuse to a trusted adult. That means there are many young adults carrying around with them a very tragic and very dangerous secret.

I would like to take this opportunity to acknowledge all of the staff who works at Hope House. When I first meet people and they learn I work at Hope House I often hear, “Oh, isn’t that hard work?” and “How do you do it?"
My response to this question is the staff I work with are the ones who are doing the hard work. Hope House would not be what it is today without the dedication of the individuals who work here.
It’s 2013, which means Hope House is celebrating its 30th anniversary!
It’s amazing how far we have come in the last 30 years. We have grown over the years to being the largest provider of domestic violence services in the state of Missouri. We have 122 beds between both of our locations and serve over 10,000 people every year through all of our programming.