If your abuser enters the room, click the red Escape tab to be taken to a safe website. Take safety precautions.
If your abuser enters the room, click the red Escape tab to be taken to a safe website. Take safety precautions.
It is Thanksgiving already. It's hard to believe that time has gone by so fast. I know as you get older it goes faster and for me this is so true. I've been making it a practice to acknowledge all of the blessings that I have in my life and to be more aware of all that I have to be thankful for, both big and small. I am truly blessed with family, friends, co-workers and supporters of Hope House.
A new study has been published that concludes that 1 in 10 youth admits to sexual violence. That is alarming and should cause everyone to stop and take notice.
Almost one in 10 U.S. teens and young adults admits to having coerced or forced someone into sexual behavior, according to a new study. Nine percent of youths reported committing some sort of sexual violence, researchers found. That included kissing or touching someone while knowing the person didn't want them to or forcing someone to have sex. Previous research has found people may commit sexual assault beginning at a young age. Not many of those studies have indicated how many though. (msn.com)
We are very excited about our upcoming 6th annual Howlin for Hope, sponsored by Carter Energy. This event will be held at the dueling piano bar Howl at the Moon which is located in the Power and Light district. This event is a great way to get involved and help while having a great time. If you have never been to Howl at the Moon you are in for a treat.
Last week I discussed what I learned in the Jackson Katz workshop and I would like to take more time today to discuss an approach that Dr. Katz developed called The Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP) Mode. This is a gender violence, bullying and school violence prevention approach that encourages young men and women from all socioeconomic, racial and ethnic backgrounds to take on leadership roles in their schools and communities.
I found this program to be engaging and very effective. It has been used in schools with the focus on students with their friends, their peers, their fellow students. The program looks not at the “victim” or the “perpetrator” but at the bystander. What do the people who are witnessing a violent act or situation do? How do they respond? What do you do if you are in the hallway and you see a guy push a girl into the locker—you aren’t close friends with them but you know them? No one in the hallway is doing anything. What do you do? What can you do? What are your choices? So many people think there are only two responses: intervene physically to stop it or do nothing. What if there are other options? Through this program students are able to see that there are different ways to respond. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. They are shown that each individual can learn valuable skills to build their personal resolve and to act when faced with difficult or threatening life situations.
I had the opportunity to attend a very thought provoking workshop presented by the KC Metropolitan Bar Foundation. Jackson Katz was the presenting speaker.
Jackson Katz is an educator, author, filmmaker and social theorist who has long been recognized as one of America's leading anti-sexist male activists. Mr. Katz spent four hours discussing men’s violence against women in our society and how our language and actions have continued to perpetuate this grave and serious problem. I would like to spend some time in October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, discussing what I learned from the lecture. I have been working in the domestic violence field for a long time and I still found myself learning new things and hearing new thoughts on how to approach this very old and growing problem in our society.
Beauty Brands End Abuse Campaign
United Way of Greater Kansas City kicked off their 2013 campaign at Arrowhead. What a great event it was. Greg and Deanna Graves and Duke Dujakovich are chairing this year’s campaign. They brought with them enthusiasm and a zest for a challenge. They want to break records this year. And knowing the Graves, they will break records. They are known for their wonderful philanthropy and commitment to bettering Kansas City. I know this year’s campaign will be a huge success. Hope House is proud to be a United Way partner agency. We recognize the good work done through United Way and we have kicked off our own campaign.
GKCUW continues to use their impact agenda. They have three focus areas: Education, Income and Health. Education strategies focus on helping children and youth attain their full potential. Income strategies are helping people achieve financial independence and stability. Health strategies are focused on helping people and their neighborhoods to be safe, healthy and thriving. All strategies are focused on ensuring that people in Greater Kansas City have all the building blocks for a good life.
Domestic Violence Awareness Month evolved from the Day of Unity conceived by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. In October 1987 the first Domestic Violence Awareness Month was observed. (Adapted from the 1996 Domestic Violence Awareness Month Resource Manual of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.) Every year in October programs across our country bring awareness to this issue that affects so many lives here and across the world. Domestic violence is vicious, traumatic and we need to keep addressing it until it stops.
This awareness month is an opportunity for everyone to celebrate those who have survived, mourn those who have died and help those who are still in violent relationships. This is an issue that affects us all. Even if you are not in a relationship that is violent, domestic violence still impacts you. You most likely know someone who is or has been abused. Even when you don’t know someone you most likely feel the economic and social impact it has on society as a whole. Your neighbor, your classmate, your co-worker, your sister or your mother could be a victim or it could be you. People who experience domestic violence live in terror every day; they are repeatedly traumatized and victimized. It continues to sadden me that there are people in our community that do not know there are resources available to them. We still have a lot of work to do to make sure that everyone who is in need knows there is help available.
A few weeks ago my husband and I attended a benefit for Hope House of Kansas City (hopehouse.net). Aside from the fact that my husband convinced me to dress for the 80’s theme instead of in cocktail attire, it was a lovely event. Hope House provides shelter to victims of domestic violence but it also provides so much more, such as therapy, court and legal programs, hospital based advocacy and training for law enforcement, social workers, hospital personnel and even corporations. Hope House provides services to over 10,000 victims a year.
If you are reading this on my Kansas City blog you might not know that I also have a blog that primarily addresses the issue of Violence against Women. You can find it here: ingridkeizerwilson.blogspot.com. In most cases this is not a subject that people enjoy discussing. It is unpleasant and sometimes it strikes unbelievably close to home. However, it is an issue that occurs in epidemic proportions and if we don’t confront it, it won’t go away.
We hope to see you all tomorrow evening at Boots & Bling - A Fundraiser for Hope House.
Hope House and have a country rockin’ good time! Boots and Bling is a brand new event benefiting Hope House and promises to be a fun, casual party held at
I continue to be amazed by the headlines I read. I hope when I read the entire story that I somehow misread the headline and misunderstood. But this time I did not misunderstand.
“Former Mont. teacher gets 30 days for student rape” I had to misread this right? This couldn’t be possible. But sadly it was. The judge in this case, District Judge G. Todd Baugh sentenced Stacey Dean Rambold to 15 years in prison for sexual intercourse without consent, with all but 31 days suspended. What makes no sense was his rationale, he said the victim was "older than her chronological age" and "as much in control of the situation" as the teacher. He also told the Billings Gazette that a 14-year-old girl can't consent, but this situation was not a "forcible beat-up rape." Wow, I am stunned and in shock and completely disgusted. Tragically, this young girl was 14 at the time of the rape and when she was 16 she killed herself while the case was still pending.
Last Sunday, MTV aired their annual Video Music Awards show and the media hasn’t stop buzzing about it since. If you did not see Miley Cyrus’s “performance” with Robin Thicke, surely you’ve heard about it a hundred times or more by now.
The scenario: Miley clad in a latex, nude-colored bikini, donning an oversized foam finger and thrusting out her tongue in an odd, seizure-like stabbing motion against a backdrop of childlike imagery. She gyrated and slammed into her foam finger and singer Robin Thicke who, in exchange, sluttily rubbed himself against the 20 year old in a suggestive, pseudo-sexual choreography that left many incredulous.
Recently a friend of mine, whose daughter had returned to an abusive relationship, asked me for some help. After returning home to a supportive family last year, my friend’s daughter had saved enough money to get an apartment and make a fresh start. So how did she end up back in the very same bad relationship she had so resolutely fled? She did so for what she felt were good and responsible reasons around affordable childcare, but it put her right back where she had been. And it happens all the time.
So, why do victims sometimes return to or stay with abusers? There are several reasons (nnedv.org).
What confusion! Dealing with domestic violence isn’t as simple as it sounds. One would think that it depends upon how severe the incident was. No. There are so many factors: length of relationship, depth of abuse, children, seriousness of relationship, length/time of abuse, pattern of abuse, support/knowledge of family and friends…. I know that getting outside of one’s self and realizing this is a LONG process is the key: faith, family, focus, friends, and facts.
Before stepping into the boots of Law Enforcement I had a misconception of what the job of a Police Officer was. I went into my Law enforcement career as wide eyed gal who wanted to have a really cool job, make a difference and do something meaningful with my life. When I became a Police Officer I had no idea what the job was really about. I could talk about so many aspects of the job from Crime scenes and car chases to robberies and home invasions. But I would rather focus on something more reoccurring…Domestic Violence.
Next week we will be celebrating Independence Day. Normally when we think of Independence Day we think of fireworks, cook outs and celebrating our country. Which of course are all synonymous with 4th of July celebrations. Hope House will be beneficiaries of a tent this year so if you are in Lee’s Summit and celebrate with fireworks then please visit our tent! It's on Hwy 291 on the west side of the street, just south of Chipman.
All this week, the National Domestic Violence Hotline has been posting “50 Obstacles to Leaving” in bites of 10 a day. I thought it would be helpful to combine all 50 and repost them here as a reminder of what those living with domestic violence are dealing with and why you should never blame the victim.