What is DV?
Domestic violence can happen to anyone regardless of race, ethnicity, age, sexual orientation, religion, gender, socioeconomic background, education level, or other aspect of diversity. The largest burden of domestic violence is perpetrated by men against women.
Persons who are married, divorced, dating (in an ongoing social relationship of an intimate/romantic nature) or previously dating, adults who have children together, and/or other persons who provide care.
Persons who are related by blood (parent/child, siblings, etc.), persons who are related by marriage or partnership (in-laws, step-parent/child, former step-parent/child, etc.), and/or adults who are living together or previously lived together but were not involved in a romantic/intimate relationship with one another.
Persons who do not fall into any of the above relationships, in which one person purposefully and repeatedly engages in an unwanted course of conduct toward the other person that could cause alarm to a reasonable person.
Examples may include but are not limited to:
- Name-calling or putdowns
- Isolation from family/friends
- Sabotaging attendance at job or school
- Withholding money
- Punched walls, slammed doors, destruction of personal property
- Shoving, strangling, ripping, slapping, biting, kicking, bruises, punching, scraping, pinching
- Yelling and rages
- Violence to pets
- Using children to manipulate a parent's emotions
- Use of fear and shame
- Forced sexual contact, rape, unwanted touching
- Sexist comments
- Jealousy and possessiveness
- Ridicule or public humiliation
- Prevention of seeking medical and dental care
- Threats to harm family or friends, animals; to take away children; of being kicked out; of weapons; of being killed
The following is a list of early warning signs that someone may be abusive:
- Wants to move too quickly into the relationship
- Does not honor your boundaries
- Is excessively jealous and accuses you of having affairs
- Wants to know where you are all the time and frequently calls, emails and texts you throughout the day
- Criticizes you or puts you down; most commonly tells you that you are "crazy," "stupid" and/or "fat," or that no one would ever want or love you
- Says one thing and does another
- Takes no responsibility for their behavior and blames others
- Has a history of battering
- Blames the entire failure of previous relationships on their partner; for example, "My ex was a total bitch"
- Grew up in an abusive or violent home
- Insists that you stop spending time with your friends or family
- Seems "too good to be true"
- Rages out of control and is impulsive